Ok so I had a dream last night. It was about my ex, and we decided to hang out. So I go to pick her up at her house I get out the car and give her a hug and open the car door for her. She gets in and I walk around to my door so I can drive so we can chill at my place. so on the way to my place we had some many memmories of things we did. Like where we had our first kiss, what we use to do in the car. (like sing to each other, I would hold her hand, put my hand through her ling beautiful hair and tell her she's gorgeous.) Anyway we finally get to my house and I park the car and stuff. we go up stairs and I put on the tv and we decieded to watch some lovey dovey movie. I really didn't care what we watched becuase I had her company again and didn't really care. So I went and made some popcorn for us and got some drinks. sat down next to her so we can share the popcorn on the table. We get to the part of the movie where they start talking about love, and she turns around and smiles at me. I said "Are you ok?" she replied back with "yeah I'm fine." She then sits back in the sofa and starts staring at me while I'm watching the movie. I then turn to her. I stare at her and end up having a staring contest for about 2 mins. She finally turns away. And I ask her if she had something on her mind and wanted to talk? She then looked into my eyes and I looked into hers (which by the way are very loving eyes that I had missed so dearly!). She starts to cry and wips her tears on my should and starts talking about how she misses me so much, and she was sorry for letting me go. She said that I was the only person that she ever felt comfortable to be around to be herself. The way I cared for her, the way I loved her, and the how sweet and honest I was with her. Never lying even lying to her once in our whole relationship. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if I wanted her back. All I said was "well what's done is done, we can't change that." She then said "you know your someone I can see spending my whole life with, someone I really don't deserve, being with you is like being in heaven with my dream man.
*I then woke up with the biggest smile on my face EVER! came to the computer and decided to write my thoughts.
I think I will always love her no matter what. I will still think of her time to time. But not like every single day when I was with her. She use to be the first thing/person I would think of when I get out of bed. Hoping she got a good night sleep and she's ready for school. Hoping God was protecting her today.
But yeah damn I miss that girl and I really wish that dream could be my reality so we can both be happy again.
-Steven
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so had this completely eloquent shpeel about how i can relate and a conversation with my ex and twingesz of jealousy lolsz buh i quess all i can say isz all is fair in love & war.. u shld never let ur love qo to waste either .. & im not talkin about runnin back to her im talkinq about in general ... u shld be happy & content with urself & ur surroundsz before everythinq else
ReplyDeleteyeah it's soo much easier to run back to love. but it's so much harder to move on and find someone new to love. Even tho there is a small chance I could go back to her. But right now that's the only thing I would want.
ReplyDeleteAs far as being happy and content, i'll just do me for awhile. be chill, and hope someone finds me. Or if my love was meant to be, maybe she will come back and realize what she had. It will be like ur stalker syndrome blog. lol