what u would have gotten on the phone!

ok u want me to be honest with you here you go. I wrote u along note tooo about some of this. but here u want closure here it is. Don't feel bad about how u look. becuase honestly I still love you. after everything that has happened! OK so after ur party I think things started falling apart. like you weren't telling me what was on ur mind! and I couldn't figure out what it was. I actually found a conversation like a month ago where I told u that I rly like you alot. but I can't call it love just YET! and all you said was oh and like you didn't even care! so I was like wow she doesn't want me to love her? that's weird. but I continued becuase I didn't want to lose you. I was falling for you. We then went on a break and u started talking to ur ex again saying you guys are cool. I figured u guys are tryna get back together. so I was feeling depressed like u used me to make him jealous. then you ended up getting back wth him. even tho he lied, and was controlling. and everything else u dumped him for to be with me! I cried myself to sleep that night. I felt like you didn't like me. then afterwards you started talking to me again like you still liked me and I thought it was true! I felt that u liked me. maybe u were still confused about him. and we played with each other back and forth. u said u just wanted to be my friend! why? you didn't want to see me cause we would end up doing stuff. and get back into relationship mode! why would that be a problem? becuase u were busy? but u weren't busy enough to go see dennis right? but yet I live 10 mins away from you. and the way I drive I can cut that in half! like come onnnn such a lie!! you were too busy to hang out with me because u felt scared that we would get into a relationship? but yet u would go to dennis' house where ever he lives! u skipped chem to go see him! u didn't want a relationship again but yet! u got into one again!! again another lie. you said that you don't know how he feels about you besides he likes you. so why are you with him? are you with him so ur not alone? so you have someone there to be with you? idk. That see. I think about you all the time! I can't get you off my mind. because honestly I still love you still. I always will. True love is keeping strong through all the hurt and staying. you said I deserve better! Why do you feel that ur not worthy of me? I know ur worthy of me! u deserve the world and I want to give it to U! I wanna be ur ONE. I just hate how you gave up. it's like you didn't want to bother anymore. but yet you still ask about it.! why? maybe because you still feel someting there? I don't know what your feeling? and you tell me you don't know. just like you don't know about Dennis. Honestly I felt like we had a connection again too because I was getting to know you on a different level. you didn't share much with me when we were together becuase you didn't want to talk about it. I come on here and ur spilling ur guts! I felt closer. even tho it was to ppl who read ur blogs which could be just ur friends and family. But the fact is that u shared something. You set this whole thing up. You knew I was gonna look at ur blog! so u put it in ur away msg! I clicked on it. I made a account so I can talk to u and write what I felt and have you share ur feelings with me! and when I said ur like me. u rly are. I always asked WHY! and want to know the answer. that's something we have in common. what I don't like is that u want me to tell you how you feel. but yet you don't rly share what you feel. which is why I think ur weird! You say you don't know what to feel about me. That I dont' get. what you don't like me? idk like do you think about me? what made me mad the most is that one night I was crying my eyes out and all u said was get over you. and that u love me. then I said if u loved me then we wouldn't be in this situation! u said I beleive u made ur choice and im sorry you feel that way. that was the most mean thing u said to me! it was like fuck u bye. I cried soo much when I saw that. how u just didn't care anymore and gave up. yeah I know we can't just get back together. that's not gonna work. but I had hopes. and soo much was going through my mind. I called so many things like you getting back with ur ex. but you wouldn't give me a second chance? like was I such a bad boy friend that I didn't deserve a second chance?


My question to you WHY

It's ur turn. PLZ share your feelings and yes this is what I would have said on the phone!

I want to be ur ONE, I want to be URs I want my dreams to come true!


-Johnny!